Because there’s not cut-off date for being a write

I’m far from done with writing about women & romance… but this time, please indulge me with some meta discussion, as in, bringing it all together: not just talking about MC and representation in fiction, but also about female writers who are over 30.

You’d think that in this day and age, this conversation should be over. But since I decided to self-publish TEMPER, I’ve spent more time on social media and got a good sense of what’s trending these days. And it’s not pretty. I mean, we can’t even talk about NA these days, it’s got to be YA or nothing.

Why do we need to fight for more mature female leads, more seasoned romance stories, for stories reflecting the lives of people in their prime? It’s not only a matter of ageism. It’s not merely an issue of targeting the 13-25 audience who’s got hours to spend on social media and who are in charge of trend setting.

It’s also because we (as a cross-border society) dismiss not just female MCs in their prime, but the writers behind them. Because at the end of the day, at 30 you’re supposed to be married and if possible with 2.3 kids in tow (how dare you not want that). And guess what? You’re supposed to stay home and dedicate yourself to them. How dare you sit down and write, even if it’s between 3:30am and 6:00am or 11:00pm and 3:00am (yep, that’s how so many do it),

I read a Tweet today saying “don’t worry, you can be a writer AND an awesome mom, too”. Of course you can, it’s called being a working mother, but I guess when you work from home it doesn’t count. Not a real job, right? It’s a hobby, not a career, and it’s so egoistical to have something for yourself.

And oh yeah, you’re a ‘mother’ now, aka a saint. And what do saints lack? An active sexual life.

Because at the end of the day, writer or character, we all know that it boils down to this: at 16-26, you’re beautiful, unattached, free to live romance (*whispers* but not too much please), experience things, go wild (*whispers* be the slut everyone wants you to be but will hate you for it if you dare say you enjoy it).

Comes 28.5, you’re supposed to be a wife and mom now, and heavens forbids you want to do something for yourself, including enjoying the delights of your own body in whatever way you’d prefer. And if your husband is happy with you, he’s got a serious problem (*cough* what? your wife? ugh those awful lesbians, how dare they question the Order of things).

I’m not done with this topic. Truly not.

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